April 29, 2004

a sad pigeon story

i meant to write an entry like a week ago or something, but now i can't remember for the life of me what i wanted to write about, so here's a sad story about a pigeon. SIGH.

WELL. i was walking to the train yesterday, talking on my cell to my mom, walking under the LIE overpass, slowly approaching a few pecking pigeons. whatever. didn't think twice about it, happens all the time. but suddenly i was getting a bit too close for comfort, i guess, because one of them flapped off to get away from me. i watched it flap off, and it flew into the street...and an oncoming car HIT IT. oh my God. i just froze. i couldn't say anything except for OH NO! OH NO! over and over again and my mom was like WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? but i was frozen. the poor thing couldn't fly because it had been HIT BY A CAR, pobrecito, and it was trying to move but it just couldn't. oh my God, i don't know when i felt so bad in all my life. SIGH. (i'm still feeling bad and it's been almost 48 hrs or something.)

well i finally decided to keep walking because i couldn't exactly save the bird, and i definitely didn't want to see it get hit again, if that's what was going to happen. OH MAN this is making me upset just typing it. well...today i was walking to the train, and though my better instinct told me DON'T LOOK, DON'T LOOK--i couldn't NOT look...and the pigeon was definitely dead and flat. MAN. i feel like a horrible horrible person even though of course i didn't really do anything. but i saw the poor bird get hit by a car, and it is just horrible. DANG. anyway. so i'm upset and i wish i could go back and not walk so close to the damn thing. AGH. well anyway.

i was talking to an old college friend tonight and told him the story because i was still upset because i had just gotten home after seeing the remains yet again and he was laughing so hard i guess because i was so upset about a pigeon. he said he was not the person to be talking about it with. like he's not into the whole animal welfare thing or thinks they don't really have feelings or whatever. but that doesn't make any sense. i said that even if the bird wasn't mad at me or if his feelings weren't hurt, getting hit and run over by cars hurts really bad. that just made him laugh harder. dang it. SIGH.

blueavenue at 4:26 a.m.

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