September 22, 2003

My Dad

in about...6 and 1/2 hours my dad will be in heart surgery. if you could say a little prayer or wish him your best i'd appreciate it. i would feel much better about the whole thing IF I WERE THERE. But i'm not.

i slept too much today, and i'm not tired now. i keep thinking too much. i should really go to bed.

i wish i wasn't a dreamer. but that's because about a fourth of me is a realist, and it shoots down my dreams. haha. so i know these things aren't very probable. just dreams, really. but somebody's got to do these things. poets, actors, singers, etc. why not me?

i don't want to go to school tomorrow. i just want to sleep through it and wake up when i know everything's okay. and if it weren't, it would be bad. very bad.

on a sweeter note, my 5 year-old niece asked her mom if she could use some of her allowance to buy Grampa some flowers for his surgery. i love those kids. i have a great family. they're good people. sometimes i feel like that's rare nowadays. i like the word "nowadays." I also like the word "reckon," but i don't ever say it myself. my dad always says the phrase "like ugly on ape," and that makes me laugh to myself. my Gran used to always say, "Well, shoot a monkey," and maybe that's why i like monkeys so much to this day. one never knows.

let's see if i can make this happen.

I reckon that Mercedes behind me must be in an awful hurry. He's all over my bumper like ugly on ape. Durn kids always in a hurry nowadays. Well shoot a monkey! He just hit me!

I'm an idiot.

blueavenue at 1:49 a.m.

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