July 21, 2005

"howdy" from texas.

well, we're here. i'm not sure how i feel about being here, but i'm here nevertheless.

i've been having coughing fits for the last week or so, and they only worsened in the car. 24 hours in a car is way too many. in case you were wondering.

i am sick as a dog. K was sick before, so i guess i got it from her, but it was the stress that really pushed it onward to an infection. ugh. i'm so sick of coughing.

i'm currently trying to convince a high school friend of ours who has been living in japan for the last 2 years into moving back here so we can hang out with him. lol. i don't think it's working.

wayne the cat is thrilled to be on solid ground. he didn't do too great in the car, although at some point he finally gave up and settled in on the floorboard to the left of the pedals. he slept on my left foot while i drove. comfy. he's been exploring all over my parents' house (we're staying here till we get our apartment for august), and it's pretty exciting for him. though he's not eating any food, so that's kind of worrisome. i'm sure he'll recover pretty quickly; his name means "invincible" after all.

a personal side note: Kim, if you are reading this and are sad/upset that i have not called to tell you all this personally, please don't be. i haven't spoken to anyone about any of this (other than my parents, but only because that was unavoidable) simply because it's all too overwhelming right now. i can't even take it in. i'm still in shock about it and not sure what's going to happen in my head. if i'm going to adjust and everything be fine, or if i'm going to hate myself. i don't know why i haven't called anyone to tell them about all this, but i haven't been able to. just avoiding it all right now. i think after we get an apartment and things are more solid and clear it will be a little easier. right now i spend my days zoning out and not thinking about anything.

i've applied to a graduate program at UNT, and now i just have to get together some recommendation letters, my transcripts, my portfolio, and take the GRE. all of this needs to be done in the next 2-3 weeks. this is on top of finding an apartment. and a job. minor detail.

if i don't get into the program, which seems a definite (if small) possibility, i guess i'll just get a full-time job and try to start saving up some money. money for apartment stuff, money for europe, money for other trips, money for a car, money for electronics, just money.

i am completely exhausted. i drove for 6 hours today. and mentally: exhausted. i finally got my stupid paycheck from the temp agency, and it was only for $400. know why? because freaking TAXES in new york city are through the effing ROOF! ugh. insane. they took out nearly $200 for taxes. on ONE paycheck. talk about tax return, people. i'm counting on that. anyway, my (now ex-) job will be sending me a paycheck before too long, and it should be for about 2 weeks of work, so it should be pretty substantial. which is good, because my bank account is running pretty low after all the moving costs.

good news: my ex-boyfriend in new york bought my car, so we didn't have to ship it (which would have cost $900). he bought it for $1000, so that's good. now i'll have to figure out what i'm gonna drive down here.

well, i guess that's about it for now. i'm too tired to think, so i hope this is somewhat coherent. things will be better when i have an apartment. and all my stuff (which is god knows where in some truck right now, on its way here). and a stiff drink. =)

thinking of you all...

blueavenue at 12:06 a.m.

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