January 16, 2005

on love and hope and diaryland.

i think the best, most important thing i've taken from my diaryland experience thus far is that there are other people who are feeling now or have felt in the past the same exact thing as me. at any given time.

i come across diaries randomly or through diaries i already read or whatever, and suddenly i feel like their words are mine, or vice versa. it's an odd but reassuring thing. i just forget sometimes that i'm not the only person here, not the only one struggling, confused, hopeful and hopeless at once, worrying, wondering, searching for something but not sure what. i guess maybe we all forget that sometimes.

i know i'm selfish. i'm aware of many of my shortcomings, i think, which i find important: to (at the very least) have self-awareness, even if there are certain things about myself that i probably cannot change. of course, i'm sure there are other faults of mine that i've no idea about, but there's still time to figure those out. (at least i assume there is more time, but sometimes i wonder about that, too. maybe we all do.)

but anyway, i just wanted to say i am glad to be here. i know that may sound cheesy or weird or i don't know what, but i mean it sincerely. i'm glad to be part of d-Land, and i'm glad to have met those of you who i've met and with whom i've exchanged notes or emails or conversations or pictures or ideas. and i'm just thankful, frankly, that some of you are willing to share your lives with the rest of us, because it's just kind of fun to feel like you're in on someone else's life in an odd, roundabout kind of way. plus some of you are just damn interesting. or funny. usually both. so thanks, and hello out there!

in a somewhat unrelated topic, my dear friend myquestions and i are starting a new, joint diary. it will be a sacred place. sacred to snideness and sarcasm and cynicism and elitism, that is. a place all our own, where we herald those in the world who we treasure and scorn the ones we don't. i am looking forward to this new endeavor, and i hope some of you will read along once we've got it up and running. hopefully it will turn out at least somewhat clever. heh. one never knows till one can know.

well, a bon dimanche to all. i'm off to mon lit!

blueavenue at 3:13 a.m.

previous | next