July 10, 2003

i grant you this gift...

"There is but one thing in the world that does me good, it is music; but it is a good that others would call agony. I wish I might hear ten times a day that air which tears me to pieces and brings back to me with ecstasy all that I regret."

~JULIE-JEANNE-ELEONORE DE LESPINASSE, 1774

Music is all that I love and hate. It is my blessing and my curse, it is my gift that reaps only more and more fruitless dreams. But my demeanor is not one of perseverance, it's one of defeat. I'm tired of that. I want to prevail over those who've doubted and those who pretend to believe. Ugh. I need some direction, already.

blueavenue at 2:03 a.m.

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